5th September, 2021
Nothing's more important than I am, Nothing matters more than my own happiness, I am my number one priority - once upon a time hearing a person state that, I would think to myself what an 'extremely selfish' asshole, how can someone even say that?! Today I am confident to declare that the most important human in my world is me. And little did I know how much good this way of thinking can bring. It was a long, difficult and emotional journey, a process that didn't just happen overnight. I had to change my way of thinking and clear out a whole bunch of junk along the way to get to this point and where I am today...
I am here for others...
This is how it's been all my life. I would put myself last. Others have always been more important; their problems, needs, feelings, a shoulder to cry on? I'm here for you! Dash my own plans to the side because you need me today? I've got you! I've considered it an act of selfishness not to take care of others but myself. After all, I am in this world to help and simply be there for family and friends. We often hear that the best gift we can give a person is our time, help, support. So I gave it all away. Forgetting who's really important and who I need to take care of first in order to be the best version of my self, mum, wife or a friend.
When dedicating your every precious time to people, you begin to lack it for yourself. When you engage in helping others, you do not see that your life is also not as colourful. You are blind and deaf to your own problems. Even though your soul and body are screaming out to you!
Busy committed to helping your friends and trying to be everyone's 'therapist', you may not notice that your relationship with your partner is fucking up or that you are losing yourself. After all, it is not your role to solve everyone else's issues. If you allow your best mate's problems to overtake your life and time, you may not notice that she is taking advantage of you. She doesn't want your help, she doesn't take your advice at all, she just needs you to take out her frustrations, sorrows and worries on. You try to contain all the emotions and negative energy she has released not realizing that it's almost like a toxin affecting your physical and mental health. Focusing on these people's lives, you will never hear that somewhere inside - you are starting to fall apart...
Psychotherapy, development workshops, taking care of your inner child...
This was my 'oxygen mask'. Thanks to these three things I finally understood and learned so much about life, myself and what's really important. In fact, I started working on my body's interior, seriously and deeply several months ago, when I came across the most powerful, wise and beautiful woman named Sara Longoria - and that's when my magical transformation began...
Today I feel as if I am a different person, as if someone opened my eyes and showed me the TRUTH. The truth about people, the truth about the rules of life and Universe. The truth about the harmful patterns in which I was stuck all my life, because I did not know otherwise. The truth about all of the toxic relationships and situations I would put myself in daily - intentionally. Because we are always responsible for our actions and we create our reality and what we manifest into our life - always!
I am priority...
Among other things, what has changed is that I have transformed the way I perceived my relationship with myself. I realized that I am simply most important. Not my husband, not my children, parents or friends - but ME! I should take care and love myself first, say 'no' if I think 'no'. Erase toxic relationships and declutter my life from negative people. Set borders and boundaries, and never let anyone cross them. Protect my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health and get out of the roles I shouldn't be stuck in. Never care what I should or suppose to do - but act based on my inner instincts, cravings, wants, needs and guides. Never be afraid of loved one's judgements and openly and freely reject their views, advices, definitions if they don't match mine.
I've came to the conclusion that as a 27 years old woman, I can give new meaning to things, I can create my principles and my truths. I can live my life totally my way and not care what anyone has to say about it. You only have one life. Live it your way.
Now I think for myself and feel so good about it. I gained freedom. I can not describe this feeling or put it into words. It's almost like I discovered my self, like I was reborn and starting a completely new life, in the best version of myself.
Egoistic approach?
Being a priority in your life does not equal egoistic. It is a healthy state of mind and something extremely necessary for mental and physical health. If you are sacrificing yourself for others and you are not important to yourself, you are disconnecting from your mind, inner child and higher self. You don't hear your desires and needs. You underestimate the signals that your body and psyche send you. You don't register it because you are too focused on the outside world. The so called selfish attitude allows you to discover your own feelings, preferences and learn what you really want from life, and what your purpose is.
Ask yourself this question...
Are you a good friend to yourself? Would you like to have a friend like you are to yourself? Do you take care of yourself? Are you listening to yourself? Are you doing what you really want or what you 'suppose to'? Remember that out of all relationships the most important one is the one you have with yourself.
